April 29th, 2013
A silly little card game, part 1
mood feeling it

So much has happened as of late I'm just now beginning to wrap my head around it. First, LiveJournal might not know this, but I invented and designed and printed a card game. IT'S TRUE. It's a bit like Euchre and a bit like Spades and a bit like Oh Shit! (the card game and the expletive). It's called Lohai and it's pretty freaking wonderful. But don't take my word for it. This is an actual bit of feedback I received from an actual human being that actually played the game with people who don't really like anything.

Her wisdom teeth were fine in case you were wondering.

Yeah, but you say that was from March 3rd and the world has grown up since then. Well let me show you more proof it's amazing.

Strategic! Detailed website! Which I did make all by myself! (Don't ask why I'm shirtless in this chat. Just ... don't.)

Anyways! I have been doing well with the sales of the game without any real marketing or promotions (beyond shirtless 1-1 sales techniques) and have decided to kick it up a notch and try and turn this into a real product and a real business.

Part of this is talking to people who know something about what that means. I took out a woman who is the publisher and creative director for a magazine she created that has some design credibility and good momentum in the Seattle design community. She and I were spitballing ideas around what it takes to get published in media when this conversation happened:

"How do I position myself to be in gift guides?"

"You can be in mine."

"Your what?"

"My magazine's gift guide."


So it looks like unless I screw something up, Lohai will be featured in October in her magazine. Sweet!

More things to wrap my head around later.

post comment
April 21st, 2013
What a lovely weekend! Started off with ohnoimdead and I heading over to krull and his mancandy's wedding. ohnoimdead took the pictures and OMG they are great but OMG there are so so so many to edit. He's probably 5% of the way through and not for a lack of effort. There are just too many good ones in the set.

While I do wish krull had procured a proper drag queen to do bingo for the wedding, I was honored to take over the duties in absence of someone more talented. I had a lot of fun going into game show host mode, working the crowd. I didn't say one swear word or untoward thing the entire game AND I was decently funny. Success!

Makes me ache to host and edit more episodes of To Say the Least. One day.

Saturday, headed over to the newly wedded Mr. krull and Mr. Craig's house to spend time with krull's best friend from high school. We played a game of my soon-to-be new hit card game Lohai in which I scored a grand total of zero points and came in last place. When I say this is my card game, I mean I invented it and created all of its rules. And I still scored zero points and was in last place. It's amazing to me a man can invent a game he can be so bad at.

Today was a rousing game of Seven Wonders at my in-laws' house up north. I won but only by the skin of my teeth. I pulled a heavy science strategy with a few war points pushing me over the top. We played the game in record time because one of my competitors started smoking pot and we had to rush the game to completion before she got totally baked and couldn't function any more.

I just realized how out of practice I am at creating a narrative in long form. Twitter and Facebook have rotted my brain. I'll get better at this LiveJournal stuff again. Promise.
post comment
March 28th, 2012
I'm not half bad
I came back to LJ to look for a post from 2005 and started reading my various entries, thinking it would be something like looking back at old inscriptions you wrote in the back of your friend's yearbook and thinking oh shit, did my brain really used to say crap like that when it was younger?

On whole, I love what I wrote back then and have zero embarrassment or shame about it. I don't know if that means I was more mature years ago than I remember or I haven't grown one bit since I was 26. Little from column A, little from column B?

Oh, and for the record, I still use LJ as my personal diary. But you jerks will never see the tawdry things I write in there until you hack my account and expose me.
post comment
March 24th, 2011
Nothing good can come of this
Never good when you are in a consultative relationship with your client and your PM starts a conversation like this.

2 comments | post comment
April 28th, 2010
Spite and malice is all I feel
I've had this in my list of things to-do for a while. This is an email exchange between me, the protagonist, and one of my ex-coworkers who I truly hate and wish nothing but ill will for. We will call him Antagonist X. We had an email exchange back in 2008 when I heard a company he was high up in blew up. He also made sure to trash my good name all around the company of asshats and act like I somehow sank the shithole company (instead of his incompetence).


Protagonist Jake: How's life treating you Antagonist X?

Antagonist X: Hey jake good to hear from you. I left [company name deleted] couple months ago and am looking to find the next adventure

PJ: You taking it easy over the holiday season? Any new adventures look appealing yet?

AX: Hi Jake. Yes, right now just taking in easy. I will start looking for a job starting January. I did work on another startup idea for the last 3-4 months but it is a tough market to get funded. How is your life/work?

PJ: Good. At frog design, a global innovation firm, as a senior designer working on some really cool mobile device UI and other innovation projects launching in 2010. Looking forward to the extended holiday break starting on Wednesday, as I've been working my butt off. There has to be some cash out there. My husband just became employee #1 over at kashless.com. Martin Tobias scored $5m for that venture. So it hasn't completely dried up (yet). How has life been after [company name deleted] went all pear-shaped?


Oh it felt so good to be spiteful.
post comment
January 3rd, 2010
Game shows and childhood dreams
Hi 2010!

So I've been working non-stop over my holiday break on this podcast game show of mine. I've been wanting to create game shows since I was a little kid and got the idea back in the Bacon Salt days to be very guerrilla and new media about this whole thing and get a podcast going. And I've been talking about this podcast for years. One day, my lovely husband said, "You know. You've got the talking part done." So I started doing it.

I've edited two episodes almost fully, have a good cut on the third episode, taped a fourth one, lining up contestants for the fifth one, and have answers written and ready to go for the sixth one. This pursuit has taken up almost all of my free time. If I spend time with friends, it really can't be for more than an hour. My social life has diminished and my waistline has grown for ditching the gym for a dream at game show stardom.

(When I envision myself as a game show magnate, I saw myself as skinny and pretty. At this point, I'm choosing surgery and not self-control.)

I was thinking about putting my thoughts about producing game shows or working with GarageBand in this post and actually making it educational or valuable or at least entertaining to read. But I suspect not a soul reads my LJ anymore which is fine by me.

If any of you want to know more, the first episode is tentatively scheduled for release on Wednesday January 6 on iTunes and the website (URL TBD). The game is super-fun to play. If you want to play it, please please please leave me a comment. No money is involved. We're lower budget than NPR.
2 comments | post comment
November 17th, 2009
Last time I posted was 36 weeks ago
And I'm wondering why I'm posting now. Hummm ...

I do miss you on occasion LJ.
post comment
October 16th, 2008
Campaign Victories and Defeat
Back in 1972, Nixon cruised to an electoral landslide against George McGovern and Sargent Shriver in one of the most embarrassing elections in modern history. To celebrate his tremendous defeat, McGovern and Shriver had this stage built:

the gayest thing ever

What a loser.
post comment
October 8th, 2008
Let's talk about taxes
Love this infographic.

Infographic comparing Obama and McCain"s tax plan.
1 comment | post comment
October 5th, 2008
This is what I dream about

I just had an idea for an advertising concept.

Scene: A dirty open field. There is a fence in the distance. A very fast, driving song is playing (in the spirit of Apex Twin)

A male criminal is fleeing a large number of law-enforcement people in the distance, who are blurry. He is running fast, he keeps looking back and sees a clear path over the fence and away from danger. He jumps and quickly scales the fence until a slow-motion rubber bullet is shown hitting his skin.

The music abruptly stops. His face is in shock. He falls to the ground before getting over the fence

A female police officer enters the scene, kneels on his back, handcuffs him. The scene fades to black with the message:

“Women are 330% better than men at taking down a fleeing suspect.” (This fact is made-up.)

Screen clears and shows: “Be a woman. Be a cop.”


3 comments | post comment
September 22nd, 2008
Registering to vote in Washington state
I thought it would be helpful to let you all know how to register to vote here in Washington state and how to request a permanent absentee ballot. Make sure to register by October 4. Otherwise, you will have to register in person. (Yuck!)

First, what is voting permanent absentee? It means you choose to vote by mail instead of at a polling place. You will receive your ballot several weeks before the election. You may vote anytime as long as your ballot is postmarked by election day. If you choose, you may drop off your ballot at your polling location in lieu of mailing it. Easy? Yes. Fun? You bet!

If you are registering to vote for the first time in Washington, you should use the online voter registration site. You need to have a Washington state driver's license or state ID to do so. Go to the online voter registration website and follow the instructions. In order to receive ballots by mail, make sure to say "yes" to the question "Would you like to receive absentee ballots for all future elections?"

If you don't have a Washington state driver's license or state ID card, you can register to vote by mailing in the paper form. But you really should get a driver's license here, right? Right.

If you have moved and haven't changed your voter registration, things get a little complicated. If you have moved within the same county, you can change your address using MyVote without needing to re-register. If you moved to a different county, you need to re-register using the online voter registration tool.

Unsure if you are registered to vote? Go to MyVote and check to see if your registration is active. You just need your name and your birthdate. Check your friends and family while you're there!

If you registered to vote in Washington state quite a while ago, you may want to update your signature on your voter registration. It is the official way election officers validate the authenticity of your absentee ballot. Any signatures that do not match will be discarded. This wouldn't be a huge concern, except that the last gubernatorial election was won by 129 votes out of more than 2.8 million cast. (For those playing at home, that's a victory of 0.0045%.) In Washington, every vote truly counts. To update your signature, print out the voter registration form and mail it to the Secretary of State's office.

Again, you need to register to vote by October 4. If you don't, you'll have to go to your county's auditor's office and register in person. I've done that once. It's not a pleasant experience. Take 5 minutes and register to vote now.

Pass this on, please.

Democratically yours.
1 comment | post comment
If Democrats were Republicans, they would totally run this ad
post comment
September 18th, 2008
I rarely make sense on Twitter
post comment
July 28th, 2008
I almost forgot about this ...

I do love this game.
post comment
July 27th, 2008
No. Really? No.

post comment
July 26th, 2008
This is so very true
post comment
July 22nd, 2008
Because twitter is down ...
mood loved

I'll tell you all of this instead.

I truly have the best husband in the world and the best job in the world. I am extremely blessed and I love where I'm at and all the people around me right now. Thank you.
post comment
July 18th, 2008
I love harassment training
Guess who was offended in this picture:

This woman's offended by everything!

So, the office slut wants a backrub ... c'mon!

And this is the quote of the day:

"Note that Stewart's joke about an old man, a Mexican and a disabled woman can contribute to a hostile work environment for this man, even though he is not old, Mexican or a disabled woman."
post comment
July 14th, 2008
Two dorky men + marriage + twitter = ...
We might go down in history as the first couple to twitter our "I do"'s.

So dorky!

Read Tres' original post and our mention in Offbeat Bride.

Get us on Slashdot, k?
4 comments | post comment
July 2nd, 2008
I made this quickly
A desktop background. For destructiveform ...

Centipedes?  In my vagina?  Now they lay eggs!
5 comments | post comment
July 1st, 2008
Seattle Bank Robberies

SEATTLE – One man was taken away by ambulance after an armed bank robbery this morning involving another man in a dress and wig.

ohnoimdead: This was SUCH a Seattle bank robbery.
velvetsmog: Yeah. Half-assed and kind of gay.
1 comment | post comment
June 30th, 2008
It's hard work
Work! Work! Job! Work! Job! Job! Work! Hugging old ladies!

2 comments | post comment
June 22nd, 2008
Vigilante Justice
dog poop girl
Poll #1209090 50/50 shot ...

What say you?


In South Korea in 2005, a woman was witnessed letting her dog defecate on a subway and refusing to clean it up. A camera phone captured the event to a horrified South Korean populace.

A wide-spread campaign commenced to document her fecal crimes. One time, a gentleman offered her a tissue which she used to clean her dog after an incident but not to clean up the poop. Another time, a woman is shown forcefully asking her to clean up the shit with her ignoring the pleas. An online vigilante group found out her name and posted it on several heavily-trafficked South Korean web portals. The woman quit university in shame and posted a public apology on one of the South Korean portals.

Sweet justice or ruining a life of an idiot for no good purpose?
post comment
June 21st, 2008
A rebranding of Obama?
Take a look at Barack Obama at a meeting of Democratic governors in Chicago on Friday.

Barack Obama and his presidential seal

I'm digging the new presidential-esque symbol there. With the flags and such, very stately!
2 comments | post comment
June 20th, 2008
A question of national importance
Poll #1207862 50/50 shot ...

What say you??


Blame it on the rain ...

I had a dream once where I was this world famous DJ. I was spinning at this fantastic club up in Vancouver, just had the place on fire ... people loved me, I was high energy, good times had by all. My DJ name? Vanilli Spumoni.

I shit you not.

EDIT: Srsly guys 3 votes? You muthafuckas are WEAK.
2 comments | post comment